“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” ~ Nora Roberts
I’ve had some interesting conversations since last month’s blog post, “You’ve Got a Friend.” I received feedback from a variety of women who say they have trouble asking for help. I don’t want to bother anybody. I feel like I feel incompetent when I can’t do things myself.She is so busy, I can’t ask her for a favor.
Yet, so often we sit home alone wishing we had a friend to visit or talk with or someone to help us with something we can’t do ourselves. It turns out that most of us are well trained in the art of giving and being of service. We love to give to others! We are quick to respond to preparing a meal, running an errand, taking someone to a doctor appointment. But asking for ourselves brings up feelings of guilt, shame and fear of rejection.
Asking for help requires vulnerability. We are admitting that something is too difficult to do alone. We are acknowledging our limitations and that can feel risky. Many of us were raised with messages that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. If we cried, we were told to “get over it” or “toughen up.” If we struggled, we were encourage to “power through.” That old programming is still operating in the background and often stops us from moving forward.
It takes courage to ask for support or help. Here are some tips that may come in handy:
1.Identify what you need. Is it a ride to the doctor? Help with a household chore? It can be even as simple as asking to talk on the phone.
2. Be clear and direct. When I was moving, I asked a friend to come over for two hours to help me pack a section of my kitchen. Ask for specific task and time if possible.
3. Accept help graciously. There is no need to apologize or make excuses. Accept their help with grace. Be willing to receive.
4. Express gratitude and appreciation. Acknowledging their help is a way of respecting their time and effort.
5. Pay attention to the times you are willing to receive. Record the experience in your journal. It can help you build confidence and self-respect.
I was not a receptive receiver for a very long time. I was only willing if I could control the outcome. Once I became aware that my resistance was blocking the universal flow, I was able to open my mind to receive. Receive not only on a physical level, but also being open to divine wisdom and grace.
Be willing. Be open. Allow yourself to receive.
Affirm: I am willing to receive all the Universe has to offer.
“Pray for a tough hide and a tender heart.” –Martha Graham
Have you noticed that the holiday season sometimes feels like a rollercoaster of emotions? There are moments of joy, sadness, grief— all in the same day.
We are all a bit fragile during the holidays. Our hearts are especially tender. There are expectations, demands, promises, hopes, fears, joys and worries all swirling together. And then often, there is grief. Grief from the Christmas memories from long ago, loss of friends and family, aging and loneliness, We have our own personal challenges to deal with as well as feeling the pain of humanity’s injustices.
We do our best to honor the ups and downs. As we practice awareness, we are more willing to accept and allow our emotions and not get thrown off balance.
Here are some simple steps I take to bring me back to balance.
I am grateful for this new day. I embrace this day knowing God is revealed as the radiant, energizing, joy-filled presence of Love. I know Love moves into the very cells of my being bringing light, harmony, and peace. I accept guidance to willingly let go of any resentment, hurt or disappointment. I invite the healing presence of Love to wash away any pain or darkness. I enter this day with a grateful heart and receive all the blessings Love has in store for me. And so it is. Amen.
May the light of the season guide your days with wisdom, fill your heart with peace and surround you with the presence of love.
“You are word. You are an aspect of God being brought forth into light.” – Paul Selig. I Am the Word
Have you ever noticed that some days a brain fog seems to set in and we forget about the power of our words? We often speak aloud words of criticism, complaint, and judgment coming from our inner critic instead of empowered messages of love and inspiration from Spirit within. The words of the critic come from the head, and the empowered words of Spirit originate in the heart.
From The Book of Knowing and Worth, Paul Selig reminds us, “What you give your authority to becomes your God. And if you want your pain to be your authority, or the memory of your pain, that will be your claim, that is what you put into your basket, that becomes your broadcast, or your resonance and you call it back to you in every moment of your waking life.”
I don’t know about you, but I prefer not to call back my pain and suffering every moment of my waking life. I choose to be aware in the present moment. I choose to pay attention to my thoughts and words.
When we become aware of the inner chatter, we notice that often the things we say are not positive and uplifting. Practice speaking words of gratitude and empowerment out loud. Your heart needs to hear your voice. When your voice speaks words of truth aloud, your vibration is raised, your awareness is heightened, your experience of love expands.
Speak your gratitude aloud for loving friends and family, for your delicious meal, for your spiritual awareness. Affirm your success, prosperity and good health. Our words are adding to the vibration of humanity. Let’s make them count.
Wisdom from Ernest Holmes: “There is something within you which is completely aware of its oneness with power, of its unity with life. Lose all thoughts of discord and fear, and permit the true pattern to come to the surface.”
In this season of gratitude and thanksgiving, I am deeply grateful for you. Thank you for your loving presence in my life. You are a treasure.
“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” — Lucille Ball
The swirling, chaotic energy and shocking events in the world right now can take our breath away. It is easy to become overwhelmed and dismayed. If we allow it, we neglect our true sense of self and fall into an abyss of despair.
Instead, it is in our best interest to refocus on ourselves. Yes, ourselves! That seems contrary to what is happening in the world. “I can’t think about myself because there is so much suffering.” “I don’t have the energy to focus on my needs.” “I feel alone and don’t know what to think.”
When we recognize our emotions, we pay attention to our thoughts and words, make our health and well-being a priority, we are doing the most important work in the world. It is so essential in times of confusion to stay strong, flexible, aware, and conscious. It is imperative to stay healthy with a clear mind and intentions. It is vital to maintain a sense of worthiness. As we do this for ourselves, we are adding to the vibration of love for all humanity.
Recognizing our worthiness is an internal journey and requires a conscious acknowledgment that we are extensions of the vibrant, creative, loving energy that permeates existence. Embracing this truth fosters deep self-care and cultivates a profound sense of well-being.
Worthiness embodies an acceptance of ourselves—our spirit, mind, body, and emotions—as interconnected facets of our greater wholeness. Marianne Williamson beautifully expresses this in her renowned quote: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” By nurturing our sense of self-worth, we invite others to recognize and celebrate their own.
When we align our worthiness with a genuine sense of well-being, we elevate ourselves to a place of love and appreciation. This powerful presence invites us to connect with Infinite Wisdom that is available to us at every moment. This Divine Wisdom acts as a guiding light, bringing forth inspiration, clarity, and support when we need it most. It serves us individually and collectively. As we lift ourselves up in love and worthiness, we extend that vibration to others.
There are those days when the connection to our worthiness may feel just out of reach. It requires intention to pause, to listen, and to nurture ourselves deeply. As we navigate through busy schedules and commitments, it becomes vital to carve out sacred time for self-care and renewal.
Take a moment to disconnect from the noise of modern life. Step away from your calendar, your computer, and your endless responsibilities. Schedule a dedicated space where you can focus on replenishing your spirit. Engage in practices that celebrate your own sacredness and honor your connection to the Divine. Nurturing your self-worth isn’t just about personal growth; it’s a conscious act of self-love that allows you to shine your light in the world, encouraging others to do the same.
Our worthiness is not defined by external criteria but is an intrinsic quality that flourishes through self-care and acceptance. Embrace your unique light, and allow your journey toward worthiness to be an act of love—both for yourself and for those around you. Then listen to that still small voice within–you will be guided how to share your light with the world and to serve from a place of love.
Affirm: I embrace myself with love and compassion. I am free to be me.
“You are word. You are an aspect of God being brought forth into light.” — Paul Selig
I could feel my not-enoughness popping up this week. The old beliefs resurfaced — I am not enough, I can’t have what I want, I shouldn’t be asking for that anyway, blah, blah, blah. Do you ever have those days?
I am grateful that I know what to do. Get to my meditation chair and quiet my mind. I love the technique from Suzanne Giesemann called SIP of the Divine. Sit In Peace. Breathe and Release.
As I sit in peace, I breathe, quiet the mind and let go of those irritating thoughts. As I breathe in peace, I realize those thoughts are not irritating any more, they are just thoughts. I can let them go. I am then centered enough to claim what I do want to experience for the day.
It all seems so simple but in this world that is constantly changing and shifting, it can be a challenge for find the time and discipline to do the practice needed to show up in a loving space. It helps to give ourselves some patience and appreciation for the willingness to show up as our best selves for the day.
I recognize at the center of all life is an Infinite Power guiding and directing me in all my activities. I surrender any belief in doubt and any experience or belief that I am not enough. I release any feelings of fear and any tendency to avoid or complain. I speak with good purpose and think loving thoughts of those around me. I walk with intention, knowing I am guided and directed on my journey. I am truly grateful for this day and the many blessings I receive. And so it is.
Knowing your day is filled with love, peace and freedom.
“The highest attitude of mind, from which all else springs, is one of perfect calm and absolute trust in the Spirit.” — Ernest Holmes
As a new Science of Mind student, I would passionately pray my spiritual mind treatment. Immediately I would speculate how my prayer was going to be answered. My prayers were usually about money since I believed that there wasn’t enough to go around. I would wait for the mail to show up only to find an empty mailbox. I would check to see if any clients called with potential business, but no one called.
When I complained to my spiritual mentor, she reminded that it was none of my business where or how my good will appear. She said, “If you continue to look for it, you haven’t developed your faith.”
I discovered there are three steps to building faith: Hope, trust and gratitude. Hope is a sense of doubtful expectation. We hope something good will happen to us but underneath, doubt and fear linger. Those doubts and fears produce a type of anxiety called waiting. Waiting for things to change, waiting for circumstances to get better, etc.
As we release the doubts and fears, we begin to develop trust. We have a deeper conviction in the creative process of life and develop greater patience. The stress of waiting is replaced by patience and a sense of calmness that all is well.
Here was the important part for me: refrain from searching for the demonstration of good. Instead, it was essential to give thanks that what I desired was already received. Gratitude is the expansiveness of faith.
In today’s uncertainty, I engage this practice quite often. It is so easy to be swayed by circumstances in the world. I recognize my fears and beliefs and ask what is mine to do. Then I shift into trust, knowing I am not alone. I look around and express gratitude knowing that something greater is being revealed.
I learned a long time ago, it is none of my business how my prayer will be demonstrated. I now give thanks that it is already received. Lesson learned.
Affirmation: I give thanks that what I desire is already received.
